I’ve been rather busy lately and was feeling burned out, so I was very much looking forward to getting away this weekend on my sailboat. A dear friend whom I’ve known most of my life heard I was going and asked to join, with his kids. This was the first time that we have both been free on a weekend together and I happily agreed to bring them along. I should also mention that this friend is my perpetually late friend.

The island that we were sailing out to gets busy on the weekends. You have to make sure you get there early in the day to get a spot. I made sure I suggested a departure time that would allow us plenty of time to get to the island to find a spot to anchor. But of course my friend was over two hours late to the parking lot, and then we still had to load his gear and the gear of his children.

Rather than get frustrated I decided to think about what leadership principles I could learn from this. What I realized is that leadership is grace.

If you have read any of John Maxwell’s books you may be familiar with his motto, “Leadership is influence, nothing more nothing less.” What I realized is that it’s easy to be nice to somebody you do not know, but it takes a lot of effort to have grace with somebody who you are friends with already. I can only give grace if I already have influence in my friend’s life.

Rather than get frustrated at what I knew was an inevitable outcome I decided to practice grace. I made sure everything was in order for him and his family to step aboard the boat and have the best possible weekend Island getaway. It does not get much more magnificent then sailing up to a beautiful island and tossing out an anchor to hang out for a couple of days. The kids were able to row into shore with the dinghy and go on some beautiful hikes. My friend and I were able to spend some great time reconnecting. A time that may have been strained if I had chosen instead to stay frustrated.

By remaining calm and giving grace I was able to be the leader in the relationship. My buddy understood his mistake, he is not dumb. He knows I get frustrated when he’s late, and he knows it is common for him to be so. Had I chastised him for being late he would’ve been defensive, however by extending grace I kept the lines of communication and respect open. He brought up the fact he was late, he said he knew it affected our schedule, he admitted fault and asked forgiveness from me.

So you see, grace is a form of leadership. You have to take the first step, lead out, extend grace to the other person. You will be amazed at the positive results.

Photo by Rachel Pfuetzner on Unsplash

The post Leadership Is Grace appeared first on Ben Lobaugh Coaching and Training.

Take a look at the rudder of a ship, it is amazing that something so small, compared to the rest of the ship, could possibly control it. That rudder has an amazing effect on ships, no matter their size. The first hour of your day may not seem like much, but just like the rudder of a ship, it has a huge impact on the rest of your day.

Without a doubt, I have found this to be true in my own life and the lives of my coaching clients. I know from observation that when I linger in bed to catch a few more zZz, or snuggle with my wife or even start the day with a drawn-out breakfast and tv show that the rest of my day will be similarly lazy. I have a list I know needs to get done, but no motivation to accomplish anything.

On the other hand, I have found that when I get right out of bed when the alarm goes off, stumble out to the kitchen and down a glass of water, my morning starts off motivated. By the time 5:45 AM rolls around I have gone through the rest of my routine- make coffee, prep my desk for the day’s activities, read over training material, and take one sip of coffee- and I am ready for one of the Daily Growth Calls I host.

The end of the Daily Growth Call marks an hour I have been awake and I am ready to tackle the day. An informal survey of friends and clients reveals the same result, those who achieve great results during the day start their morning with particular intention.

It may seem daunting to get out of bed and hit the ground running, and it is at first, but you will quickly become accustomed to your routine and even look forward to your rudder time each day.

What can you do to create a rudder for your day?
What activities each morning will help you be motivated and productive during the day?

Photo by Maximilian Weisbecker on Unsplash

The post The Rudder of the Day appeared first on Ben Lobaugh Coaching and Training.

In 2010 I purchased my first sailboat. My family thought I was nuts; I had never been sailing in my life, but I read a book and thought I could do it. I will never forget the first time I had the sails up. No sound except the gentle lap of water against the hull as the boat slid smoothly through the water. Pure, blissful, peace- I was hooked!

Fast forwards several years and sailing has grown into somewhat of an obsession. Not only am I sailing my own boat for fun, but now I also sail for sport. Multiple days each week you can find me on the water, putting my skills, and my boat, to the test against other skilled sailors.

Sailboat racing is very complex, two of many things you must pay attention to are wind indicators on the water and what the wind in your competitor’s sails looks like. Watching boats around you helps you judge where the best wind is and how other boats are doing relative to you. Watching other boats can be deceiving though! Any distance more than a few feet from your boat and the other boat may have very different wind conditions, from any number of factors. You need to keep that forefront in your mind and remember they are only a guide and not truth for what the wind is doing to your boat.

It is common for newer racers on the crew to become distracted with what is happening on other boats and lose sight of what is happening on their own boat, causing the boat to become inefficient and slow down. The crew has come up with a phrase when they notice this, “Sail your own course!”

“Sail your own course!”

– Billabong Race Crew 2018

“Sail your own course” has implications beyond the race course. We have a course we are on through life; at home, at work, in our social organizations. Along the way, society is constantly throwing distractions at us. I am guilty of being pulled off course by such distractions and you are too. It is important to consistently remind ourselves to stay on course.

What is distracting you?
How can you remember to “sail your own course?”
What would be most helpful to keep you on course?

The post Sail Your Course – Life Lesson from Sailing appeared first on Ben Lobaugh Coaching and Training.

All his life Joe has been an active person. He has traveled the world over, hiked amazing places, competed in many sports, and engaged in activities that kept his brain and body stimulated. For the last couple decades, he has studied the art of sailboat racing. He is a force to be reckoned with on the local racing circuit, typically taking home the gold medal.

I first met Joe in the context of sailing, during an event for disabled people at Footloose Sailing Association. He was sharing the joys of sailing and teaching the disabled sailors. Later I joined his racing team. Joe is eager to share his love and knowledge of sailing with anyone interested, and I was like an eager sponge. Dried out and ready to soak up his knowledge.

Though he has taught me a lot about how to sail fast and sail well, he, more importantly, taught me how to think. He showed me that problems are only problems if you let them be, or they can be new opportunities. He taught me how to think about the “why” behind something, to understand what it did before it did it. And he taught me how to think quickly on my feet and make the most of changing situations. Sailboat racing is no walk in the park. It is a mental and emotional chess game, just like life.

Joe did not get to cruise in his sailboat this summer due to his health issues. He got in only a couple of races, but as he was laying in that bed, voraciously listening to tales of my adventures, he said something profound.

“I may not have had a summer, but I as I reflected I realized I have had a lot of great sailing adventures in my life. In the grand scheme of things one summer does not matter. As I look out this window I can imagine the wonderful places I might be anchored right now. I am grateful for the wonderful memories of those trips.”

Joe said this with a peaceful smile on his face.

Joe was not upset with his current situation. He was happy to be there sharing memories with me. Those memories helped him be grateful where he was.

The next time I am in an undesirable situation I too am going to look backward at my life and find a reason to be grateful right where I am.

What can you look back to in life and be grateful for?

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