I’ve been rather busy lately and was feeling burned out, so I was very much looking forward to getting away this weekend on my sailboat. A dear friend whom I’ve known most of my life heard I was going and asked to join, with his kids. This was the first time that we have both been free on a weekend together and I happily agreed to bring them along. I should also mention that this friend is my perpetually late friend.

The island that we were sailing out to gets busy on the weekends. You have to make sure you get there early in the day to get a spot. I made sure I suggested a departure time that would allow us plenty of time to get to the island to find a spot to anchor. But of course my friend was over two hours late to the parking lot, and then we still had to load his gear and the gear of his children.

Rather than get frustrated I decided to think about what leadership principles I could learn from this. What I realized is that leadership is grace.

If you have read any of John Maxwell’s books you may be familiar with his motto, “Leadership is influence, nothing more nothing less.” What I realized is that it’s easy to be nice to somebody you do not know, but it takes a lot of effort to have grace with somebody who you are friends with already. I can only give grace if I already have influence in my friend’s life.

Rather than get frustrated at what I knew was an inevitable outcome I decided to practice grace. I made sure everything was in order for him and his family to step aboard the boat and have the best possible weekend Island getaway. It does not get much more magnificent then sailing up to a beautiful island and tossing out an anchor to hang out for a couple of days. The kids were able to row into shore with the dinghy and go on some beautiful hikes. My friend and I were able to spend some great time reconnecting. A time that may have been strained if I had chosen instead to stay frustrated.

By remaining calm and giving grace I was able to be the leader in the relationship. My buddy understood his mistake, he is not dumb. He knows I get frustrated when he’s late, and he knows it is common for him to be so. Had I chastised him for being late he would’ve been defensive, however by extending grace I kept the lines of communication and respect open. He brought up the fact he was late, he said he knew it affected our schedule, he admitted fault and asked forgiveness from me.

So you see, grace is a form of leadership. You have to take the first step, lead out, extend grace to the other person. You will be amazed at the positive results.

Photo by Rachel Pfuetzner on Unsplash

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A team with a leader proactively seeks out solutions to problems and resolves them themselves or presents resolution options to their leader to decide from. A team with a manager does not proactively seek solutions to problems, rather they ignore them entirely until the manager notices, or dump them in the manager’s lap to resolve.

To be a true leader you must create relationships with your team. If you are a manager, the good news is it is never too late to change. Start now! Here are four tips on relationship building with your team:

• Inspire and motivate those around you – Let your team know how much you value them.
• Build depth in relationships – Be interested in each member of your team as an individual, not as a “resource” to be used. Learn about them, ask them open-ended questions about themselves, their lives, their families. Be sure to listen intently and give them your sole focus.
• Coach and develop others – Coaching is an amazing tool! Coaching your team will make them confident in their work. They will take pride and ownership in a job well done.
• Foster teamwork through collaboration, bring people together – Conflicting, unclear, or missing objectives will demoralize your team. They will not care to work together

Photo by Kevin Curtis on Unsplash

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Before we could paint, we had to fill in tiny nail holes and patch some large openings in the drywall. Our timeline was short, only a couple of days, and I knew it would be difficult to complete alone. Alix wanted to help, so I started by having her watch me patch a drywall hole, and then I helped her patch a hole. By the third hole, she was doing it all by herself. Proud hubby moment! Then I repeated the process with painting. She handled the paint like a pro, and we completed the project with time to spare.

As I reflected on our project, I realized it followed a key roadmap that all leaders can use to multiply their efforts and accomplish more in less time:

• I showed her the way. Alix watched as I demonstrated how to patch drywall. She learned the way.
• I helped her along with way. Alix did a drywall repair with me by her side, providing guidance and support. She tried the way.
• She went the way. Alix patched a drywall hole by herself. She went the way.

I did not need Alix’s help. I could have completed the project by myself, maybe even on time if I worked harder and longer, but by taking a few minutes to show her how to do the task, she was able to double my efforts. Alone I can only produce one unit of work—with her, my output was multiplied by two. Together we accomplished far more, in a shorter period of time, than I could have alone.

Every leader I know is busy. I know I am busy, and I bet you are too. You can use this same process with your own team to multiply your efforts:

• Show them the way
• Help them try the way
• Send them on the way

Think about all the things you need to accomplish as a leader. What can you do today with your team to multiply your efforts tomorrow?

Photo by 浮萍 闪电 on Unsplash

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