In The Next Generation, Worf gave some profound advice that has resonated with me for years.

“Thinking about what you cannot control only wastes energy and creates its own enemy.”

Living our own lives is a lot of work! Trying to control a person or situation not under your influence is a waste of energy. We only have so much energy to expend and if we use it all on something out of our control there will be no energy left for those things near and dear to use, things we have an impact on.

Don’t waste your energy on something you cannot control.

Focus on things within your realm of influence.

Take a hard look at your life. What are you expending unnecessary energy on?

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You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.

Who is controlling you?

Photo by Mark Hirschey [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Photo by Agustinus Nathaniel on Unsplash

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“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

– President Theodore Roosevelt.

President Theodore Roosevelt is attributed with an oft-repeated quote, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” This is true in any job, and industry, any organization, any family. There are two types of leaders in this world: those who influence by how much they care, and those who influence by intimidation.

Influence through intimidation happens when the person you are leading feels compelled to do something. Negative attitudes, poor productivity, and broken relationships come out of this type of influence. For instance, poor leaders often use their title as a means to coerce those under them to work.

An leader who obviously cares about, and ensures the other person feels cared for, never has to compel another person to do anything. People jump to do the bidding of those who care about them. They will even proactively take care of things and seek out methods to make the leader’s life easier.

Intimidation causes people to build up walls, care causes walls to come tumbling down. People who have experienced intimidation are likely to be suspicious and untrusting of new influencers in their life. Be patient with them, continually reinforce how much you care, eventually, those walls will come tumbling down and the relationship will blossom.

How are you treating those in your influence? Do they know you care?
What can you do today to affirm your care?

Photo by Torsten Dederichs on Unsplash

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